Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Resurrecting Soup Guy

In the fall of 2013 I met a lovely guy whom I named Soup Guy. We only had two dates because I didn't feel the "wow" factor.  However, in the year and a half since, I've thought of him many times as I grumbled to myself that this date 'didn't do this' or was 'lousy at that' - and would compare the less-than dates to Soup Guy who did everything right.

So when I came across him on an online dating since in 2015, I asked if he would like to catch up over a drink.  We met up last week and had good conversation, he is as nice as ever. Easy going, non-judgemental, asks a lot of questions.  Although the immediate "wow" factor isn't there right now, I am well aware that my "wow" factor-o-meter is a bit off and usually points to self-involved, un-evolved guys.  He asked for a second date and said he has a fun idea so I'm going to say yes and see what is in store.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Big Data and Online Dating

Despite the more than 100 first dates I've probably been on since my divorce, I have had probably 90 bad first ones and out of the remaining ten, first bad second dates.  Surely there must be a science to this.  I've put my own first date criteria in place to drastically reduce the number of 'nice guys' I say yes to, in hopes to meet more 'potential guys' out for a drink.

Amy Webb, a digital strategist and author, decided to take a scientific approach to dating - her TED Talk on "How I Hacked Online Dating" is a must watch!

Friday, March 13, 2015

De-skunking my life

I haven't written in a while...since I last wrote, my house has been sprayed three times by skunks that made a home and under addition, the hot water pipe running to said addition froze (who knew a hot water pipe could froze) and the backroom in my basement got water in it twice.  I've been struggling to keep from drowning!

There are a few things I've learned from having challenge after challenge arise within days of each other over the last few weeks:
1) I can handle anything. I've caught 2 skunks and 2 possums in traps myself! I've de-smelled, thawed, dried out, waterproofed and smell-proofed my house.

2)  People show up when you need them. At one point I thought perhaps I was on the outs with the universe. Maybe the great force had finally turned it's back on me for all of the selfish thoughts I've had over the years. But after the skunk, pipe and flooding happened the first time, my doorbell rang. And my friend was standing there. 10 mins later it rang again. And another friend showed up.  The next night another friend showed up with flowers and took Grace and I for the best ice cream we've ever had!  If that's not a true sign that the universal force of love has your back, then I don't know what is!

3) I feel completely unrelatable and unattached to the rest of the world.  Although it is with great pride that I can say I'm addressing these obstacles on my own, it sounds bizarre when you try to explain this to a guy. It's not hot. It's not needy. It's like I'm too far removed for anyone to find me remotely desirable again.

4) I went from being lonely and feeling a hole inside to loving my alone time and feeling pretty fulfilled.

Between 3 and 4 it is a weird juxtaposition because while I feel completely undate-able - I also have very little desire to really date.  Maybe it is because the last 8 months I've met some really lame, lame people...but now I immediately react with a mix between "this guy wouldn't want to hang with me" and "why would I ever want to hang with this guy?"

I did go out on one date in the last month with a guy I met 2 years ago. We couldn't get it together to go out on a date then and he insists that it was because I was being flakey. But I remembered thinking he seemed like a player. Well sure enough, a tiger can't hide his stripes and he made several flirty references but he couldn't quite ask me out for a second date. 

So what does this all mean?  Well, basically that I'll be really happy when there are no skunks under my addition....or in my life :)