I
don’t know what’s gotten into me. Perhaps lack of stimulation. Work
environment is gloomy and projects are not currently fulfilling. Nothing
going on in the dating world. So I’m bored. And when I’m bored, I
decide to stir up trouble. In a harmless, innocent way. So I pulled a
harmless prank at work. And within 12 hours was plagued from the guilt
of it. We’ll come back to that.
Also,
an unrelated incident at work, I got in a disagreement with a coworker
that I also consider to be a friend. I apologized for disagreeing,
though I stand by what I said, it was misdirected to say to him. I
don’t want to cause anyone more stress than is already present in this
aforementioned gloomy work environment.
After these 2 occurrences, both of which I felt guilty for possibly
causing undo stress to someone else, even though that was not my
intention, rather an unintended consequence of my actions.....my
basement flooded. I’ve lived in the same house for 7 years and it has
been bone dry until yesterday. Water came streaming in from a heavy
storm and my carpet had to be pulled up, the padding discarded and $2500
+ 3 days later, it should be restored to dry & safe place for Grace
to play. However, I couldn’t help but thinking was this karma's way of
reminding me to keep myself in check? To not let go of my more mature
sensibilities and give in to the little kid who likes to stir things up
every once in awhile (don’t we all have that part or is it just me)?
One
thing I struggled with for the last year (and occasionally still do
today) is if the affair/blow up of the marriage was a punishment for
sins that I unknowingly committed. Those of sound mind around me have
assured me it is no such thing. But sometimes I wonder if I was just a
little bit better, would life has turned out differently? If I hadn’t
voiced my opinions to my coworker and if I hadn’t played the prank -
would my basement still be dry?
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