Today is Grace's 5th birthday and I woke up extra early today, giddy with excitement that my little girl is now 5! I posted a short, sentimental remark on facebook along with a picture of her from the beach, gazing out over the ocean. All morning I felt this resounding strength, that with very little help, I raised this happy, healthy five year old who makes me, and many others, smile every day.
Then it hit...a mini panic attack. I flashed back to her father's dead eyes in the hospital. The way he was texting, only to find out it was a girlfriend on the other end, while I'm in a hospital bed learning to care for my newborn baby girl. And all of the pain came flooding back, setting off a shame spiral.
I hate that this is my story. I can not stand it. But I'm trying to embrace it. It has shaped who I am, and as a result, shaped who Grace is as well - its given her an example of strength and determination to move forward. I'm a real-life case study of resilience. I hope that one day the strength will carry me so far forward that the panic and pain can no longer reach me.
This blog is my journey to Becoming Wonder Woman through the trials of divorce, lessons of a being new mom, challenges of a demanding career, and experiments as a single mom.
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