Monday, April 7, 2014

As I approach my 35th birthday...

I absolutely love this Facebook post from Anne Lamott: https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott/posts/466175203512128

I felt so moved by Anne Lamott's raw honestly, that I wrote my own, as my 35th birthday approaches:

I'm turning 35 and I've never been stronger or more tired! I have everything I could ever want - amazing friends and family and friends who have become family - yet I keep looking for more because I miss the fact that I already have enough.
I've lost the ability to live in the present moment, but it's possible I never had it to begin with, maybe I will find it this year.
I've aged more in the last 4 years than some people do in 4 decades and I've endured pain so suffocating I didn't think I could take one more step (maybe you have too).  I still feel weak on a daily basis yet I am strong in ways that make me wonder if I am super human.
I realized I was born without the 'guard' that one should 'keep up' and this requires much smarter choices as I get older.  I found out I'm an endless optimist when it comes to people. And no matter what someone says, I refuse to see anything but their best.  I'm not letting go of this at 35 or 85.  This isn't hard when it comes to those closest to me because they really are the absolute best people on the planet.
At age 35 there is so much more I want to do but instead of 'should haves' and 'could haves' I am going to slow down and see the beauty in each moment.
Perhaps un-age from the past few years.  Definitely breathe more.
Hold Grace tightly three times every a day and never miss a chance to stare at her in wonder.
Finally plant a garden together and laugh when it grows sideways.Take long walks hand in hand and wax philosophical over the 'yellow flower' dandelions that bring her nothing but delight and the rest of us nothing but angst. Splash in my mom's pool until out hands are wrinkly and then go eat more ice cream than anyone should consume (and then consider investing in Petrucci's stock).
We will say our thank yous to God each night so that we are constantly reminded of all that we have and that nothing is more is needed.
I hope my 35th brings sickening sweet birthday cake, irresponsibly expensive champagne, and the recognition that light and love are all around, all of the time.

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