Guest blog post: Advice for single mom’s (and single women) everywhere

A guest blog post from my dear friend, Mulan. I read this and thought it was applicable to every single woman - practical, solid advice: 

Wanted to tell you that you are a hot commodity. Prime real estate. You are intelligent, kind, thoughtful, beautiful, and funny to name a few. Please don't waste anymore time over the runner. Brush it off as you would a white piece of lint on a black sweater. No need to look deeper into it. You will drive yourself nuts. 

When we breakup, we want them chase us and it hurts when it doesn't happen. Do not sit, ponder or question. View it as a skinned knee, you get back up and keep walking. Stings a little but doesn't kill you. The hardest part in all this is believing in yourself. Knowing your worth and remembering it when a relationship starts to fizzle. If they aren't giving you what you want because of excuse X,Y & Z, let it go. Or even thank them for not wasting anymore of your time. No sense dragging the relationship out when it's a round hole, square peg. 

You are wonderful and if they can't see it, they aren't the one. EVEN if they have 80% of what you are looking for. That isn't enough. We can't teeter in our heads "well he is "X" & "X" but this about him still bugs me. Oh but am I being unreasonable? Unyielding? No one's perfect. Aren't relationships about give and take?? That self questioning will have you settle for less than your worth. 

Go on as many dates as you can. Date as many people at the same time. Do not narrow down the candidates until a decent amount of time has passed. You could wind up putting all your energy into one guy when it could have worked with the other. Men are stupid. (except our dads, who were also probably stupid men in their youth!:) ). 

 I worked with a girl/woman who always had guys calling her and wanting to take her on dates, to lunch etc. She was attractive but no supermodel. Smart but no fancy degree. I finally had to ask her "how do you do it?" (i was lacking some self esteem at the time and had a tinge of envy). She mentioned a book called "the Rules"and that one rule was to end the calls first. It leaves them wanting more. So i picked up a copy and read it for light entertainment. I don't recall everything that book said but it honestly had some interesting points. (Some may also have been odd. it has been years since i read it) I did try the end calls first. And yes (no lie) it did work. (I think in conjunction with keeping calls brief). 

Reading it won't mean you are pathetic, less intelligent or desperate. I viewed it as research. Looking into how other women view the world and dating. Give it a shot, you have nothing to lose. If you haven't, make a list of the qualities you would like your significant other to have and stick to it. :). If they are missing a few items on your list, they gotta go. Yes, no one is perfect however it is your goal to find the most perfect person with whom you chose to spend your time. And hopefully they meet 99% of your list! I still have mine somewhere. It's funny. Sadly I needed to state odd items that were deal breakers e.g. no felons, no mama's boys, must have gainful employment... LOL. 

This is your rebirth. The pages ahead in your life are blank allowing you to write your path. Unwind and enjoy and I promise, you will one day be happy. xoxo, Mulan