Thursday, May 8, 2014

"...You were never in control anyway"

I admit it - I raged over the weekend. Not in the partied too hard, had a blast way. In the ex-husband-is-endlessly-annoying way. I cried, I would have kicked and screamed ala Grace’s 3 year old tantrums if I didn’t stop myself from a total melt down.

I still hate him. I don’t want to hate him, I want all of the anger to go away. But there is still so much there. In fact, when I think about what I had hoped for, I get even angrier at him. So there is definitely a link and truth in what Pema says about letting go of hope and focusing on contentment with what is.

Doesn't he understand what he ruined? What he gave up? What torment I'm left with in the wake of his damage? What a complete and utter weakling he really is?  Why does he walk around like father of the year who accidentally had a fender-bender a few years back - oopsie, I ended the family!

There was a quote on Facebook this week, “You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” - Steve Maraboli

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