Thursday, September 17, 2015

Almost dating...

I'm almost dating someone. We met online while he was in my area, and much to my chagrin it turned out that he lives two time zones away.  We had 5 dates in 5 days and by the end of the week, he was hooked and so was I.  The next week he was still in my time zone but no longer local. He showered me with sweet texts and thoughts of spending time together again.  We planned our next visit and agreed not to date anyone else while we got to know each other.

Then he went home and back to the daily grind.  And the sweet texts turn to perfunctory, leaving me wondering if he was still interested.  While those first five dates sound like a dream, it came on fast and strong and made me nervous. I had my guard up, waiting to see if he was for real.  By the end of his time here my guard started to drop and that's when he headed home.

We text here and there throughout the day, but it is hard to get to know someone over text. I 'asked him out' on a FaceTime date, which he readily accepted. I didn't know how to clearly say - I would like you to block time to spend with me. If he were here, we would have dates. But long distance doesn't mean you can put in less effort, it means you have to be more creative. (in retrospect, I suppose I could just say those exact thoughts - but it is so hard to say things straight, isn't it?)

I reach out with sweet texts on occasion, the one I sent last night went unanswered.  The story that I'm telling myself is that he is interested in what's convenient for him and not interested enough to make an effort to get to know me.  For all I know he was thinking 'it is late and she was so tired so I'm not going to respond so she can sleep.'

I've tried to check in a few times to see what he is thinking but my reaches toward him, whether sweet or check in, are frequently met with an emoticon as a response. Perhaps he didn't get the memo that I don't speak emoticon.

So I'll continue to 'almost date' him until either the spark become stronger or fizzles out altogether.

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