Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Ode to Ma

A few days ago, Grace had surgery to put tubes in her ears. The same, simple surgery that more than half of my friends’ kids have had.  However, because of her PVC (premature ventricular contractions, i.e. irregular heart beat that starts in the ventricle), the docs informed me that there was a small chance her heart would go into constant arrhythmia and stop pumping blood. They also informed me that she needs the surgery because she already has hearing loss and speech impairment from the fluid that has built up in her ears since January. I started involuntarily shaking. How could I make this choice? If something happened to Grace, I would never forgive myself. But do I leave her with measured hearing loss for an indefinite amount of time?  I fought back the tears and went ahead with the surgery.  All the while, feeling like I was going to throw up. Wishing I had someone to lean on, someone to provide comfort.

Right before the surgery, I called my mother (Ma). I explained the situation, she took a pause and then said that I made a good decision with the information that was provided and all I could do was listen to the doctors. She was cool, calm and collected as always. A rock.

Grace came through the surgery with flying colors, though I suffered the after affects of nausea and anxiety for a few days. It felt like a literal shock went through my system. But there was my mom, as strong as ever.

I’ve lost count of the number of times my mom has been a rock for me. Showing no fear, only strength, love and comfort.  Even at our picnic for Grace’s 2nd birthday, as a bee was buzzing around, I automatically recoiled while my mom grabbed a napkin and pursued the bee to eliminate it as a threat to Grace or I. Would I ever have the courage to go after a bee?  Unlikely.

Just yesterday, Ma went to a surgery of a friends son. Her friend had to sit through agonizing hours as her sick son was operated on. My mom was right there beside her using all of her natural gifts to help her friend through a scary time and give her a sense of calm that all would be ok.

This unwavering strength and compassion is only one of the many reasons that I named Grace after my mother. I hope that she learns that special blend of strength and compassion that comes so easily to my Ma.

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