The day following the Ditch, I decided it is not fair for someone to act such little respect for another person’s time and feelings. This has happened repeatedly over the course of my year-long dating career. Guys so focused on themselves, they inadvertently (or maybe even intentionally) hurt others in the course of doing what feels good in the moment to them.
I decided to call out The Dad on his poor behavior and politely requested an apology. I wanted a symbolic apology for all who have carelessly hurt someone else and moved on without pausing to take accountability for their actions and issue a justly-deserved apology. All too often girls think ‘this one’s a jerk time to move on’. But I personally think that just allows jerk to continue with the same jerky behavior because they are never held accountable.
Apology I asked for ("Perhaps the word you are looking for starts with S and has four letters than follow"), and apology I received: in the form of a singular text saying “
Hey - been a very busy couple of days with family/friends. Sorry I didn’t communicate better last night about the locale of the little get together. I’ll follow up with you later”. And that was the last I’ve heard from him. On the plus side, an apology was issued! On the downside, it was pretty lame (obviously).
Score one point for me! (and hopefully this particular guy will never do this again to another woman)!
This blog is my journey to Becoming Wonder Woman through the trials of divorce, lessons of a being new mom, challenges of a demanding career, and experiments as a single mom.
Showing posts with label ditched. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ditched. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Ditched
Just back from an awesome spring break visit to Orlando (ok, it was for work, but thanks to Hot Hair (aka Super Mom) and another very fun coworker, it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time). While we were in Orlando, taking in the scenery and local customs, I exchanged a few emails and short texts with The Dad. He continued to express interest and asked what I was doing this weekend but he wasn’t emailing/texting like the previous week. I started to think he couldn’t be that interested if he wasn’t making the time to reach out for more than a few mins each day. However, he inquired about my weekend plans and invited me to go to a friend’s b-day party. I happily accepted and got a sitter for Grace. I was really looking forward to seeing him, thinking - oh it must have been a busy week, that’s why he wasn’t in touch much.
His last email of the day tells me that he’ll get there around 8:30pm and one of my other guy friends would be there as well. I text back to suggest that we arrive together since technically I’m at add-on to this soiree but I do not receive a text back. 8pm rolls around and I’m hanging with the Sage Sitter (good friend/also babysits Grace on occasion) and no word from The Dad. We decide to give it a bit more time but by the time 9pm rolls around I decide something must have happened to change his evening and Sage Sitter heads home. Feeling a bit defeated, but positive there must be a perfectly logical explanation for his flaky behavior, I watch TV and doze off.
10:30pm I receive a text from The Dad saying it was a good move that I didn’t go to the party because it was small, etc and he was already home. To which I replied “yeah, that and you didn’t tell me where the party was nor reply to my last text”. Then, for good measure I added “twisted joke?” because at this point, what else could it be? His mixed signals of interest but flaky follow up have left me wondering WTF is going on! Seems like he’s just playing a game? He replied “It’s official. I’m the worst”. And that’s the last I have heard from him. No apology, no phone call acknowledgement.
It stings. Pretty badly. I am seeing a repeated pattern where I ended up treated as a convenience in someone’s life. Not any level of priority or with any value. Just a convenience. Twinkie did this for 3 months. Ex husband did this in various ways for 8 years. And now The Dad! I was holding out hope that he’s older and more mature and wouldn’t pull this kind of college-esque BS.
This is a great test of ‘it’s him not me’, as my first thought was ‘how am I not good enough to at least deserve a follow through when someone asks me to hang out?’ But I quickly pushed those thoughts aside and replaced them with ‘what a self-centered, flaky jerk!’ Go me! As this situation would have crushed me before, it is only a bad sting now.
I’m left wondering - are there any good single guys still out there? Or have we passed the ‘best if used before’ date and they have all soured, developing bad habits of treating girls poorly in one way or another.
His last email of the day tells me that he’ll get there around 8:30pm and one of my other guy friends would be there as well. I text back to suggest that we arrive together since technically I’m at add-on to this soiree but I do not receive a text back. 8pm rolls around and I’m hanging with the Sage Sitter (good friend/also babysits Grace on occasion) and no word from The Dad. We decide to give it a bit more time but by the time 9pm rolls around I decide something must have happened to change his evening and Sage Sitter heads home. Feeling a bit defeated, but positive there must be a perfectly logical explanation for his flaky behavior, I watch TV and doze off.
10:30pm I receive a text from The Dad saying it was a good move that I didn’t go to the party because it was small, etc and he was already home. To which I replied “yeah, that and you didn’t tell me where the party was nor reply to my last text”. Then, for good measure I added “twisted joke?” because at this point, what else could it be? His mixed signals of interest but flaky follow up have left me wondering WTF is going on! Seems like he’s just playing a game? He replied “It’s official. I’m the worst”. And that’s the last I have heard from him. No apology, no phone call acknowledgement.
It stings. Pretty badly. I am seeing a repeated pattern where I ended up treated as a convenience in someone’s life. Not any level of priority or with any value. Just a convenience. Twinkie did this for 3 months. Ex husband did this in various ways for 8 years. And now The Dad! I was holding out hope that he’s older and more mature and wouldn’t pull this kind of college-esque BS.
This is a great test of ‘it’s him not me’, as my first thought was ‘how am I not good enough to at least deserve a follow through when someone asks me to hang out?’ But I quickly pushed those thoughts aside and replaced them with ‘what a self-centered, flaky jerk!’ Go me! As this situation would have crushed me before, it is only a bad sting now.
I’m left wondering - are there any good single guys still out there? Or have we passed the ‘best if used before’ date and they have all soured, developing bad habits of treating girls poorly in one way or another.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)