Saturday, April 7, 2012


Just back from an awesome spring break visit to Orlando (ok, it was for work, but thanks to Hot Hair (aka Super Mom) and another very fun coworker, it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time).   While we were in Orlando, taking in the scenery and local customs, I exchanged a few emails and short texts with The Dad. He continued to express interest and asked what I was doing this weekend but he wasn’t emailing/texting like the previous week. I started to think he couldn’t be that interested if he wasn’t making the time to reach out for more than a few mins each day. However, he inquired about my weekend plans and invited me to go to a friend’s b-day party.  I happily accepted and got a sitter for Grace. I was really looking forward to seeing him, thinking - oh it must have been a busy week, that’s why he wasn’t in touch much.  

His last email of the day tells me that he’ll get there around 8:30pm and one of my other guy friends would be there as well. I text back to suggest that we arrive together since technically I’m at add-on to this soiree but I do not receive a text back. 8pm rolls around and I’m hanging with the Sage Sitter (good friend/also babysits Grace on occasion) and no word from The Dad. We decide to give it a bit more time but by the time 9pm rolls around I decide something must have happened to change his evening and Sage Sitter heads home. Feeling a bit defeated, but positive there must be a perfectly logical explanation for his flaky behavior, I watch TV and doze off.

10:30pm I receive a text from The Dad saying it was a good move that I didn’t go to the party because it was small, etc and he was already home. To which I replied “yeah, that and you didn’t tell me where the party was nor reply to my last text”.  Then, for good measure I added “twisted joke?” because at this point, what else could it be?  His mixed signals of interest but flaky follow up have left me wondering WTF is going on! Seems like he’s just playing a game?  He replied “It’s official. I’m the worst”. And that’s the last I have heard from him. No apology, no phone call acknowledgement.  

It stings. Pretty badly.  I am seeing a repeated pattern where I ended up treated as a convenience in someone’s life. Not any level of priority or with any value. Just a convenience. Twinkie did this for 3 months.  Ex husband did this in various ways for 8 years. And now The Dad!  I was holding out hope that he’s older and more mature and wouldn’t pull this kind of college-esque BS.  

This is a great test of ‘it’s him not me’, as my first thought was ‘how am I not good enough to at least deserve a follow through when someone asks me to hang out?’  But I quickly pushed those thoughts aside and replaced them with ‘what a self-centered, flaky jerk!’  Go me!  As this situation would have crushed me before, it is only a bad sting now.

I’m left wondering - are there any good single guys still out there? Or have we passed the ‘best if used before’ date and they have all soured, developing bad habits of treating girls poorly in one way or another.


  1. Ditched is no fun - ugh. But it's a gift, too, because now you can cross him off your list....who wants to be with a person who behaves like that?! He's saved you the trouble of dating him only to find out that he's unreliable. You deserve better.

    I have other friends who are newly divorced, and they have met really kind, lovely men who treat them well AND light their fires. You'll find yours too - don't lose the faith!

  2. Thank you for your kind and encouraging thoughts, Kristina! You are totally right - better to find out early on that someone is unreliable than persist with them only to have the same flaky behavior over and over.

    I really appreciate hearing that your friends are finding great guys out there, I've been running low on faith lately.