Monday, April 2, 2012

You're money baby - part 2

I feel a bit disingenuous after my last blog post. It’s not that I don’t think that I should know how ‘money’ I am, but the truth is, I still do not.  The flakiness of the Dad (flakiness = sparse communication over the weekend - not enough to send a clear ‘interested’ or ‘not interested’ signal) threw me right back into the same story: something about me is not good enough.  

How long after an affair does it take for someone to get their confidence back? It’s been almost a year since the big D and I am still feel rejection in each situation, completely ignoring the possibility there is another side to the story (i.e. the other person has their own sh*t going on). I haven’t fully accepted the idea that ‘it’s him, not me’ from my marriage, so I blame myself when things don’t work out as I hoped. How can I just wave  magic wand and make all insecurities melt away and only leave me with my money-esque qualities?

Best comment received on this topic: “I really think you intimate them all with your BOSS like style”*

BOSS as defined by
1. Incredibly awesome; miraculous; great
2. noun-a person who is a leader, someone who runs shit in his/her hood or city.

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