The Month of Me 2014: Achieving Authentic Power

Somehow I completely forgot that springtime last year, I had the 'Month of Me' - genius! I
t is good to see what I keep setting myself on the right path by coming back to myself, even if I occasionally step off and walk through the brush and the weeds, I seem to keep coming back to the path that is right for me.

Gary Zukav said on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday episode that Authentic Power is 'the alignment of the personality of the soul'

I wonder at what point I will stop coming back to the 'month of me' to give myself the space to find Authentic Power...and when I will start living it.

Wrapping up the Month of Me

As the Month of Me (loosely used, it may be closer to 6 weeks) wraps up, I can confidently say that my anxiety has singificantly decreased whereas my contentment and overall perspective have significantly improved.  So much so that I plan to extend the month of me for another month...or more.

In the beginning of ‘the month’, I second-guessed my decision to stay solo for a while because I thought this might be the first step down a long, worn path to becoming the old lady who lives with many cats.  So it was fitting when I came across this article today on the Huffington Post, “To Date or Not to Date”, that validates, if not substantiates the need for a Month of Me - and the extension of that month into a longer time frame!

I will admit that I was out at a Cinco de Mayo party last weekend and met not one, but two guys (go figure!). One I quickly ruled out as an all-of-the-time joker.  He seems like a fun guy but hasn’t said one ‘real’ thing yet. The other guy looks good on paper and has asked me out but hasn’t set a date. Although my overall plan is not dating...this guy seemed very nice and he has a sense of style (in the laid back cool way, not in the high maintenence metro way) - so I said yes to the date (pending he follows through). Either way, it’s still the Month of Me. I’ve just agreeing to a friendly conversation with a well-dressed guy!

Taking back the Month of Me

The potential stand-up match date texted at the last minute to ask if we had plans to meet for drinks and informed me the weekend had “scrambled his brain”. He asked if I still wanted to meet. I said since I hadn’t heard from him, I assumed drinks were off. He asked if I wanted to meet up the next night at a less nice bar further from my house. I said no because I arranged to have Grace taken care of that night so I could go out but I was going to hang out with her the following night. He didn’t text back.  Who wants to go out with someone who texts at the very last minute to say “were we supposed to meet for drinks tonight?”  Very thoughtful.

The Salesman has been very nice to text back and forth with but after I was unavailable for a second date for 2 weeks, he asked if it was a bad time and said he wasn’t sure if I wanted to move forward with getting to know him. I appreciated his nudge to be honest, not only to him, but to myself. I told him that I’m feeling a lot of pressure with the transition to and demands from the new job. I’m not doing a good job of taking care of myself right now. And if you aren’t taking care of yourself, you certainly don’t have much to give to someone else.

Everyone says it takes time to get to know someone, but I believe there has to be a spark there that makes you look forward to seeing them again, not indifferent. And right now, I don’t have extra time to spend getting to know someone who I am not really interested in. It’s not to say I don’t want to date full stop, but I don’t want to spend precious free time getting to know guys that I only feel so-so with.

That being said, I have one more match date scheduled for tomorrow night which I am looking forward to because this guy spends his free time doing all of the things I wish I had free time to do!  And after that I am spending the weekend with Grace and hanging out with friends. That is where I should be - things that feel good for - me!

Disclaimer: after I told the Salesman it wasn’t a good time to hang out, I had to sanity check myself with a few friends. Either I’m making much healthier decisions or I’m losing my mind. There is always that small fear that tells me I’ll end up alone if I don’t take every opportunity to meet someone. Then there is the larger part that tells me if I don’t end up happy being by myself, it won’t matter who I meet because I won’t be ready to be with someone.

The Month of Me...n

The Month of Me is marching on!  It feels like such a huge weight is lifted to stop worrying about all of the periphery stuff and only worry about Grace and I, right here, right now. That being said, I have dreams of things I want to do with my newly declared “me time” and now guys are throwing themselves in the path!  Ok, maybe not exactly throwing themselves....but I had three guys asking me out on dates for next week. So many, in fact, that I’m scheduling dates two weeks out because I don’t have enough time to fit them all in.  Two are texting, one is emailing, another is asking for my number (pretty sure I need to put that one on hold for fear of getting confused). Where were all of these people in my bored weeks? How is it that once I have grand ideas of how to spend my time, others step in and ask me to spend it with them?  It definitely feels good, don’t get me wrong. But I can’t help chuckle at the irony. Remind me of this when the Month of Me has passed and I’m ‘waiting by the phone’.

Since the Month of Me is turning into the Month of Men, does that mean I can declare the Fiscal Quarter of Me? 

Affirmation update: I am feeling more like a wonderful person who deserves love (my current affirmation). But I'm still biting my fingers :(

Kicking off the Month of Me

It hit me this weekend, I use up my energy and time worrying about meeting someone, worrying what every else is doing, worrying that I’m missing an opportunity to be out and meeting new people.  There is something to be said for “putting yourself out there”. But there is also something to be said for putting the focus on you!  Therefore, I have declared this the Month of Me.  No more thinking about what boys are or are not thinking about me. No more worrying about who’s where and where should I do.  All decisions will be based on me. All energy will be spent on me.  What do I want to do? What will I enjoy doing in this moment?

In the spirit of the Month of Me, I have decided to try affirmations. That’s right, I’m bringing back Stuart Smalley!  I am reading a book that suggestions affirmations are a way to effectively reprogram negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones. With the underlying theory being that negative thoughts create a reality that reflects those thoughts. Whereas positive thoughts create a positive reality that reflects those thoughts.

This week’s affirmations:

I am enough.

I deserve love.

I will not bit my fingers.

(I’ve been a pervasive finger biter for years and years. So I figured if you are going to use affirmations to change behavior, why not start with something practical!)

According to the book, you will start to see changes very quickly after making the mental shift to the positive thought track.  If you channeled your inner Stuart Smalley, what affirmations would you use?