Crushin' Hard

Everything came out clear for Grace’s heart!  Just a plain old irregular heart beat - woohoo!  The relief was rolling off of me in waves on Friday!

Once the tests were run and Grace was pronounced a healthy and happy baby, I packed my car and headed for the shore, for yet another adventurous weekend.  The first person I meet up with at the bar on Friday night is Hot Hair from last summer (known to some by the name of the place where he works, which I will not add here).  We danced and hung out and generally had a very fun night.

The next day I spent laying on the beach and listening to NPR podcasts with Hot Roommate. Later in the day we went for a walk and got ice cream, talked about our families, hobbies, etc. It was really quite sweet (literally!)  When we got to the bar Saturday night I realized that Hot Roommate was really not the appropriate title for him, more like My Crush.  I like this boy. I really like him. I knew it since the moment we met and haven’t been able to shake the feeling since.  And every minute I spend with him, I like him more.

So as I was watching him pick up another girl and see that she too was entranced by his charm, I realized I needed to fess up to my feelings or else I would spend the entire summer subjected to this without a chance to possible have it be any different.  So I pushed my shoulders back, shook my hair, put on my best Erika Kane smile and walked right up to him and said “I usually take the high road, but this time the gloves are coming off. I want you to ask me out on a date. and maybe you don’t want to ask to now or maybe you will never want to ask...but I am going to do everything in my power to make you want to ask me out.”  He laughed and informed me that our little ice cream escapade was as good as a first date so I amended my declaration to be a 2nd date. As the night unfolded, a few things were made clear: 1) he has no investment in the girl he is ‘seeing’ and that he enjoys hanging out with her but should she ever want more, he would cut it off.  2) he wants this to be his ‘single summer’ as it is the first and likely last beach house he will do. He just got out of a four year relationship and his is his single time.  3) I told him it’s his free will to meet whatever girls he wants to but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to make it difficult for him by making them seem less enticing than the alternative (me!).  I figured if I want to talk to him rather than any other guy at the bar, maybe he might want to talk to me rather than other girls. Who knows, stranger things have happened!

I’m not really sure where things stand now, except there is an undeniable attraction and we both enjoy spending time together.  I can’t have any expectations though, as he has been clear he’s not looking for a relationship. And as much as I’d love to live in a romance movie, I don’t expect that to happen in real life. What I can hope for is that maybe he chooses to talk to me next time we are at the bar, rather than other girls.  And maybe he starts to take more and more notice of me.  But if not, then I’ll move on because I’m not settling for anything less. I’m not chasing (nor was this a move to ‘chase’, this was a move to be honest).  I put my thoughts out there, what he chooses to do is up to him. For now, I need to continue living my life.

And coincidentally that life includes going to the orchestra with my Trifecta friends (the 3 of us forming said ‘trifecta) along with....Hot Model!  Eat your heart out My Crush, Wonder Woman is in demand....