Monday, August 19, 2013

Mr. Mixed Signals

For the weekend Grace headed to her father’s hometown for the weekend and I headed to the shore for my last long weekend away.  Two gorgeous beach days were rejuvenating however after going out Friday night, my spirits were dampened upon seeing the judgemental and surface-level way guys were treating the girls at the bar. Though I’ve experienced this all summer and each time it has chipped away at my hope of meeting a match, it was really driven home this weekend when a friend acknowledged ‘this is not a place where personality counts’.  Upon hearing that, I knew I needed to change my perspective. Although the beach is a place where tons of single young professionals converge, they are not coming with the goal of meeting someone special, they are coming with the goal of having fun for one night.  

As luck would have it, old friends decided to meet up at my house on Sunday so after a day in the sun on Saturday, I decided to drive home Saturday night to prep for the get together on Sunday.  I stopped in the city on the way back to have dinner with a good friend and then ended up meeting up with Mr. Nice Guy (introduced in July 2012).  He was out with a friend for drinks and the three of us had a great time. The highlight being that a gay guy who I was chatting started to leave and turned back around and said “by the way, you are gorgeous” - WOW! Compliment of the summer!

Back to Mr. Nice Guy - He was very complimentary during the evening (oh boy did that feel good).  Then he said “I have to ask, are you dating anyone?” to which I replied “no, I met some clowns and decided I’d rather spend my free time doing what I enjoy than doing on these dates, but if I met someone who turned my head I would gladly go out with him”.  I asked if he is dating, to which he replied “no, I decided last week that he needed a break from dating”, followed by a long sigh (apparently the proverbial dating-waters were rough for him as well).  He referenced missing hanging out with girls just for fun and I acknowledged that is a drawback of not dating, but I wondered if he was testing to see if I was up for noncommittal hangouts. Then he inquired if I met and married a man who didn’t have kids and wanted one, if I would have more.  Hmm, isn’t that an odd question? I answered honestly: that if hypothetical didn’t have kids, I would have more. But if he did have kids, I probably wouldn’t unless it was very important to him because it would already be very Brady Bunch with our combined existing kids.

As we walked to my car he gave me a very long, close hug. He ran his fingers through my hair and looked in my eyes.  It appeared he was considering a kiss but instead he asked to hang out over Labor Day weekend when we will both be at the shore.  Admittedly, on my part, my hug wasn’t nearly as warm as his, as I always feel I have to keep my guard up around him for fear my heart may melt. And a warm, long embrace is heart-melting material!

So was he testing the waters to see if I’m up for ‘fun’ only?  Why was he asking about my long term aspirations?  Or was it all merely meaningless conversation while standing in line at a bar?

I hereby declare Mr. Nice Guy to be known as Mr. Mixed Signals going forward.

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