A Rest Period

It's been 4 years....4 years of putting myself out there and 4 years of taking hits that no individual deserves. The way that girls and guys are treat each other like people are disposable is really disheartening. 

So going into the New Year, it is time that I take care of myself.  Even prize fighters take some time to heal from the hits they sustain on a regular basis.

People say that when you stop trying, that's when you meet someone. But that isn't true, life doesn't just hand you what you want because you close your eyes and wish for it. You have to try.  But I don't think that 'stop trying' is what people mean, I think they mean 'when you stop looking' - the definition of which is stop looking for someone to be your answer, to make your life better, to make you complete. When you realize that a companion is a nice-to-have and not a must-have in your life, that is when you are ready to meet someone and that seems to be when they appear.

I thought I was close to being at that place. But the truth is, I worry that if I let someone see me, they will see what a mess life has been and how scared I still am.  So I have a wall up to prevent anyone from coming too close.

That is a pretty clear sign that I need a rest period. So going into 2015, it will be a time to take care of myself.