Monday, December 8, 2014

The Season of Hope

My 'Dark Day' passed on December 6th. This was the day that my ex informed me he was going to continue his relationship with his girlfriend was not going to work on the marriage. This was the same night I kicked him out of the house for good.  As the story goes, I woke up the next morning sick as a dog from some type of physical reaction that my body had to the marriage split & my best friend came over and literally saved my life until my mom could come and help take care of Grace and I for the next few weeks. That story normally moves me to tears. I still repeat it because part of me can't believe it really happened. And every year around this time as I relieve the days leading up to the marriage ending (all 3 days notice that I had), I am usually pretty emotional and a little blue.

This year - I felt nothing!  I had a perfectly lovely say on December 6 and although it crossed my mind that it was my Dark Day, I didn't feel dark at all! 

Advent is called the season of hope. I used to think that a marriage ending with a newborn involved right before Christmas was just cruel punishment. Now I look at the timing as maybe more meaningful - the end of my marriage gave me hope for a new, better life.  A life lived out of love, not fear. Surrounded by support, not criticism.  Confidence replacing where shame once lived.

Cheer to enjoying the season of hope!

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