Monday, October 22, 2012

Do actions really speak louder than words?

Following the “do you like me” conversation held last week with the Runner, I became more keenly aware of less sugar-sweet texts telling me how much he wants to hang out (lots) and what a good time he had with me (very). Instead they have been replaced with more of the silent, expected security of ‘no news is good news’. The best interpretation that I have is that after each date, a girl wants to hear “I had a great time. Nope, I haven’t changed my mind” whereas the boy provides next to nothing in terms of feedback, assuming 'great time' is implied.

Feedback for girls is crucial. It’s our air. It’s how we know if we picked just the right outfit or if anyone else is noticing that we are having an exceptionally good hair day. Feedback is a key part of how we build our sense of security.

Feedback for boys is a ‘nice to have’. Not necessary to feel valued. Not necessary to provide because they showed up and that is enough.

After a weekend of very little feedback, I found myself wondering do actions really speak louder than words?  An afternoon hike followed by a walk with Grace yielded no feedback of the positive or negative variety. But Sunday evening brought a text asking when I was free this week and by Monday morning, plans were set to hang out. He’s making plans ahead of time. Ensuring our schedules are synced.  He planned the hike and takes care of details so I have a worry-free time.  Maybe I’m looking for security in the wrong form of communication. He may not lavish me with make-you-blush compliments, but he is consistently there. And that’s more than I can say for most.

No comments:

Post a Comment