It is safe to say I’ve entered the angry phase
of post-break up healing. I’m slowly
moving from remembering the romantic memories to recalling all of Chap’s
unfair, untrue assumptions and accusations. He referenced many times how his
ex-long term girlfriend was incapable of lying. He held her up like a saint in comparison
to me, who could never live up to such high standards and morals. What did he hope to accomplish by repeatedly
telling me how great she was? Obviously he knew it would make me feel less-than
– and it did – it played perfectly into my “not good enough” complex. I was
left wondering why she was so great and trying to prove that I was just as
good. Nonsense!
It doesn’t matter who she is or if they are or
are not a fit for each other’s paths, the only truth that I know is that he is
not a fit for my path. No one would truly cares about you would compare you to
someone else in a negative light. And I’m starting to wonder if he was capable
of any depth of feeling outside of his own fear for himself. Why always look for the worst in everyone
else? And if you can’t find it – invent stories to prove the worst in them.
Seems self-destructive. Glad I got out of the path of that storm! Annoyed that I am still healing from the
damage it did for the time I endured it.
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