Friday, February 24, 2012

Building Superhero Strength

“Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of sh*t and not be squeamish about taking a good look.”― Pema Chödrön

I thought my secret was out and my membership to the Superhero Club was going to be revoked - I’m not the strong, independent, all around awesome person that people believe I am - I’m a scared, vulnerable girl who has to focus hard to put one foot in front of the other right now.

I’ve been feeling as if I’m been falling apart for the last few months. They say you have to be in a safe enough place for really intense emotions to process. For me, that is about 1 year post life-explosion. I spent a year getting my life in order and just recently the reality of what happened hit like a ton of bricks and the pain is wide open again. It is shaking me to my core.

The fear of the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future is intense. Regular life occurrences are hitting like huge waves, knocking me off of my feet and leaving me gasping for air.

In the past few weeks, I finally started to cry uncle and tell my friends that I’m in trouble and need help. And, being the Superheros that they are, they showed up in full force, providing unconditional love and support that would be enough to defeat even the most evil forces.

I thought that by exposing my vulnerabilities and sharing my fears with my Superhero Friends. they would see me for the weak person that I really am. But an amazing thing happened - they helped me see the opposite: Confronting fears and vulnerabilities, learning to navigate very difficult waves is what makes you strong.

I am a strong person, not despite what has happened or what I am feeling, but because of what happened and the feelings I am engaging with head on to learn, grow and live life to its fullest.

I owe my friends accolades of thanks for many reasons which I will happily relate as the story continues...but for today, I owe them a thank you for showing me that strength isn’t what you portray on the outside but it comes from what you are made of on the inside. With this revelation, I truly have the strength of Wonder Woman.

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