Friday, June 28, 2013

Not Holding On Versus Letting Go

I was speaking with one of my closest friends who is also dealing an affair about the fact that it is X number of years later and we still feel the hurt, sadness and resentment about what happened.  Thought she stayed married and I did not, the repercussions of such a trauma is much the same.

One thing we agreed is that you can’t chose to let go. Everyone says “let it go” as if healing is a choice you can make but I can assure you, if I could choose to “let it go” and never feel this pain again, I would do so in a heartbeat!  Unfortunately my experience is that we let go when our mind, heart, body and soul is ready to let go.  But we can choose not to hold on. We can choose to replace the thoughts of resentment with thoughts of strength gained from the experience.  We can choose to bypass the negativity and get on with the business of living life and finding the proverbial strawberries amongst the tigers (see “Tigers Above, Tigers Below” from May 30).

Each time I feel the familiar pain, triggered by every-day, ordinary events such as seeing a family at the park together, I take a deep breathe and tell myself not to hold on...I imagine my left side releasing the pain and the hurt and relaxing just a bit more with the hope that one day my left side will have let it all go.

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