I
was speaking with one of my closest friends who is also dealing an
affair about the fact that it is X number of years later and we still
feel the hurt, sadness and resentment about what happened. Thought she
stayed married and I did not, the repercussions of such a trauma is much
the same.
One
thing we agreed is that you can’t chose to let go. Everyone says “let
it go” as if healing is a choice you can make but I can assure you, if I
could choose to “let it go” and never feel this pain again, I would do
so in a heartbeat! Unfortunately my experience is that we let go when
our mind, heart, body and soul is ready to let go. But we can choose
not to hold on. We can choose to replace the thoughts of resentment with
thoughts of strength gained from the experience. We can choose to
bypass the negativity and get on with the business of living life and
finding the proverbial strawberries amongst the tigers (see “Tigers Above, Tigers Below” from May 30).
Each
time I feel the familiar pain, triggered by every-day, ordinary events
such as seeing a family at the park together, I take a deep breathe and
tell myself not to hold on...I imagine my left side releasing the pain and the hurt and relaxing just a bit more with the hope that one day my left side will have let it all go.
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