Monday, July 14, 2014

Taking it personally...again

Oops, I did it again. After weeks of feeling emotionally void instead toward everyone except Grace & my dog, I met a guy who I thought was pretty cool. I don’t think I’ve mentioned him yet on the blog, but I met him in a Philly bar and we had a great conversation. We texted for the last 2 weeks and then agreed that my friend & I would meet his friends out Saturday night. At one point we even broke off from the group to sneak away to a little bar nearby that we both liked.  It seemed like a great night and ended with a great make out.

Here is what I knew about him: he is really into his life. Pretty self absorbed. Yet kind of an odd duck in many of the ways I am so he’s easy to be around.  

Although I already knew how self-involved he was, after a fun night together, I did not expect it to turn into some big romance, but I did at least expect to get a text the next day such as “hope you got home ok, it was fun hanging out”. But nothing. Against every instincht and all wisdom that I have, I texted him last night to say hi & ask how his dog was (I’m a concerned individual!). And he wrote back about his dog! Not even acknowledging me!  Not acknowledging our hang out.

And I’m taking it personally. The same way I always do. Taking it to mean more than it does. In my head it means I’m an unlovable freak that no great guy would ever go for. Instead of realizing that no great guy would be completely self-absorbed and blind to everything and everyone else around him.

Just once I’d like to meet the guy who has the fun night, and is looking forward to seeing me again. I’ve met some before. Plus the one that was insane (Chap). But lately I haven’t felt the slight bit interested, and the one time I am….it’s an epic fail.

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