I went out with a college professor on a first date which seemed promising, but thereafter he seemed to be ‘mailing it in’ - lacked ambition - not really making an effort. I agreed to a second date but while I was driving there I realized he hadn’t met my criteria for a second date, I accepted merely on his credentials alone! He hadn’t made me laugh - not even once!
As I sat across the fancy table from him drinking a nice glass of wine, I noticed he didn’t even take his suit jacket off, he looked stiff and he seemed completely uninterested in me - yet very interested in talking about him.
Revisiting my criteria, I realized I left off two key points - acknowledging my daughter & asking questions about me!:
Must have for a 1st date:
- Smart
- Educated
- Makes me laugh before meeting him
- Has varied interests outside of sports and drinking
- New: Acknowledges the existence of my daughter (asks how old, etc)
Must have for a 2nd date:
- Intelligent
- Made me laugh on the 1st date
- Career oriented
- Kind
- Has some opinion about musical tastes (for some reason guys who don’t care about music tend to not care about much else either)
- New: Makes some reference to my daughter
- New: Asked questions about me on the 1st date, didn’t just talk about himself
Must have to move past the 2nd date:
- Caring
- Generous
- Is continually seeking to learn more/grow
- Can hold a conversation that dips below surface level topics
- New: Asked questions about me on the 2nd date, didn’t just talk about himself
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