Wednesday, November 12, 2014

When In Doubt, Make a List - Or Better Yet Have Someone Make One For You

I had my chimney cleaned last friday. The chimney sweep informed me that there is much work that needs to be done and he gave me a quote of around $2k but then added a discount. He said that because I looked young and must just be starting out, he felt bad and added his angie's list discount.  I promptly replied, “Oh, I’m 35!” to which he responded, “In that case I should remove the discount!”.  I informed him I’m a single mom and the discount would help to which he responded again, “Well that is your fault”. I blurted out that my husband chose a girlfriend and not to work on the marriage and the chimney sweep persisted, informing me it is my fault that I’m a single mom and he should take the discount back.  Clearly, my 4 year old has more brain power than this man and obviously he will not be getting my business.

But lately its felt like I’m getting pushed on from all sides and I’ve been feeling a bit worn down.  I lose focus very easily on what is and spend time ruminating over what is not - where I am falling short, where I don’t feel that I am enough.

Unprovoked, my mom sent me an email offering me a better perspective in my most favorite of all structures - a list!

I know you are not giving yourself the credit you deserve.  It doesn't hurt Grace but does hurt you. You:

  • Loves unconditionally ( that does not mean you want to be with Grace all of the time)
  • Forgives, as Grace is learning
  • Cuddles
  • Kisses
  • Laughter
  • Faith training for life - choosing a healthy church
  • Does not bad mouth her father, even though he hurt her and deprived her of her dream. A**hole
  • Provides fresh food and clothing - good foods she enjoys
  • Teaches her manners so she will be successful with others
  • Demonstrates responsibility
  • Demonstrates loving all family members
  • Same with friends
  • Demonstrates love
  • Goes out of her way to provide new experiences
  • Safe, clean, warm home
  • Demonstrates organization
  • Teaches sounds, letters, music
  • Uses positive behavior techniques but firm
  • Gives her baths even though she doesn't always want to
  • Does laundry when totally exhausted
  • Provides dinner when totally exhausted
  • Is an advocate for her- helmet, school, etc
  • Provides transportation to events/classes
  • Demonstrates/ teaches appropriate clothing use
  • Makes holidays and birthdays special with gifts, cake, important family and friends
  • Dead tired and still takes her to library
  • Only introduces her to good people
  • Cares globally but has Grace well taken care of when gone
  • Works to bring out the best in everyone
  • As example to Grace
  • And so much more

My advice - next time you feel like you are falling short, make a list!  Or better yet, have someone else make one for you. It’s amazing how the shift in perspective shifts your soul.

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