Friday, March 16, 2012

Preventing the 'crazy girl' moment

I’ve mentioned a few times that I’ve been hurt by a certain Twinkie who claimed to want to be friends above all else. So with that understanding, I opened up to him at one of my most vulnerable times and let him in, as I would a close friend. Only to have him pull back and put light years of space between us for reasons unknown.

This has been eating at me because I took that to mean I’m not worth much if he couldn’t even put the thought it to say ‘hey, how are ya doing?’ once in a while.  So after much fixating over this, I was all worked up and ready to ask the “WTF” question - WTF is going on?  Why say one thing and do another?  WTF are you thinking?!?!

At this moment, I had 2 options:
A)  give in to the moment of ‘girl crazy’ and blurt out a stream of WTF questions: ya know, where you are all riled up and set on getting a reaction, any reaction, without actually knowing what you want out of the conversation
B) Stop and ask myself a few key questions to prevent aforementioned crazy girl moments!

While A is as appealing as eating a cupcake in 2 quick bites - feels good going in, makes you sick right after -- I opted for plan B, which is about as appealing as eating a carrot but it much more healthy :)

It goes a little something like this:
  • Is there an answer that I don’t already know?  No, probably not
  • Is any answer provided going to make me feel better?  No, it will just prolong getting past him
  • Is it time to just say ‘I don’t know the answer’ and is that good enough?  Yes!!  Because I don’t know need to WHY he is acting this way, all I need to know is that it isn’t good enough for ME.  

Somehow this thought process helped me break the habit of seeking validation/approval from the other person. Maybe it will work for you next time you are confronted with a WTF crazy girl moment too!

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