Tuesday, May 7, 2013

”You share with the people who have earned the right to hear your story.”

I was watching a segment of Brene Brown’s discussion on vulnerability with Oprah on Super Soul Sunday, and Brene definitely stated,”You share with the people who have earned the right to hear your story.”

This instantly hit home as I’ve been feeling disconnected in my new workplace. I do not have “a person” (as Meredith Grey frequently refers to as Christine Yang). I don’t have someone I can truly confide in about my own concerns, insecurities and anxieties that arise from a new job and the associated challenges. At this point in our lives, it is abundantly clear that the only path to true connection is through vulnerability. As such, I have selectively had conversations where I was vulnerable with a few coworkers that I thought may understand.  These conversations were received with varying levels of validation and empathy but one thing that has not happened is reciprocation. I don’t know if everyone at this company is afraid to be vulnerable or if it is generally taken as a sign of weakness to be vulnerable (aka real) in the workplace.  Either way I’ve been feeling isolated and disconnected.

During the interview, Oprah and Brene remark that if you have one friend who ‘shows up’ for you when you are vulnerable, that is all you need. And if you have 2 or 3 friends who ‘show up’, consider yourself lucky. Well, I must be the luckiest superhero on the planet because I need two hands to count the number of close friends who show up and support me not just when I’m feeling vulnerable but when they are too. True friends that you know will not judge or critique but who show empathy and compassion as we are all trying to ‘grow our gardens’ in a sometimes difficult environment (see earlier post).

I highly recommend checking out a few of Brene Brown’s segments with Oprah - they are chuncked into short bits by topic so you can glean amazing insights without being glued to your computer screen.  If you watch/have watched the interviews, please share any parts that hit home for you!

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