Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Why am I chasing the Unavailable guy and running from from the Available guy?

Last night I went on a date with Hip Dad. Stats: 8 years older than me (thought looks exactly my age, I need to find out his anti-aging secrets), well educated, great job, two kids, great dad, listens to indie music (preferred), likes the same type of venues as I do (for live music and for drinks).  This is a rare combination. And to top it off, he’s a huge NPR fan, as am I (quite possibly my third love after Grace and my dog).

We met for a drink and the conversation flowed well. 2 hours later he asked if I wanted to get dinner but I declined because I was tired and quite frankly, it is draining meeting someone for the first time. We hugged awkwardly as we left and he referenced a second date.

I left feeling confused. His description is everything I should be dating. Yet, I wasn’t as drawn to him as I typically am when dating someone because I didn’t find the intrigue that comes with the ‘edgy’ guys I’ve historically dated (whom are never ready to commit because they are perpetually finding themselves).

On the flip side, I haven’t heard from Boy on the Street since Sunday. Well, technically I broke down and texted him last night - we had a brief joking text exchange. But he has asked no open questions or made a real effort to get to know me, it has been all fun and flirting but no substance.  Yet I really want him to ask me for a drink.

That begs the question, why am I chasing the Unavailable guy and running from from the Available guy?

Do we recreate pain from the past (a phrase from Buen Maestra)?  It is a bad habit we have to break?  It is possible that until I believe I am good enough, I will continue to run from those who view me as good enough and pursue those whom I have to prove my worth to?

A bottle of wine is needed for further exploration on this topic.  Insights are welcome!

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