Thursday, October 23, 2014

Lessons Learned From 50 First Dates

Last night I was at a ladies dinner and someone asked how many dates had I gone on since my divorce. I asked if that included first date only guys or  just the ones I’ve gone out with multiple times.  The request included first dates, so after a little back-of-the-napkin math, I arrived at the revelation that I’ve gone on about 50 first dates in the last 3 ½ years.  At first the inquirer looked astonished but then she said - that’s what you have to do - because you never know until you try. So keep at it and one will come along.

Now, at first I felt flushed, embarrassed that I’ve been on 50 dates and none have stuck.  The words of Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” flooded in to my head:
I go on too many dates
But I can't make 'em stay
At least that's what people say, mmm-mmm

Then I realized that 50 first dates was not a testament to my inability to find a lasting relationship but instead proof of my stellar judge of character - very quickly meeting and dismissing less-than-worthy guys. And the few that stuck around were dismissed before they could do any lasting damage.

Here’s what I’ve learned from going on 50 first dates:
  • Ask a lot of questions - this is your opportunity to interview him to see if he makes the cut for the second date
  • Dress cute - never slack off because you don’t know when it may be one you want to have stick around
  • Yield for red flags - if they are red on a first, second or third date, they will be blazing fires by the 10th, 11th, or 12th dates
  • And most importantly: Be true to yourself.

Because in truth, there are no dating rules - the only rule that matter is that you stay true to who you are.  Every dating blog and book says go get a life and have interests so you seem busy and occupied s you won’t wait around for him. But the real truth is - go be you. Love your life. Not because the right guy will love you if you love your life - but because your life is all that matters, so do what you makes you happy!

Cheers to 50 dates down and hopefully not a full 50 more to come!!

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