Thursday, October 16, 2014

Old Paths are Easy to Follow

Upon realizing that exposing any level of vulnerability to The Soccer Player immediately triggers fears of unworthiness, I decided to do a little internal exploration.  I found that when vulnerable feelings arise, I immediately veer onto the old, well-worn, path of unworthiness. After all, an old path is easy to follow. Blazing a new path is hard work!  So now I see that trigger, vulnerable = left-turn to Unworthy Street.  So what happens if I go straight through that intersection and blaze ahead on a path that may not be clear, but is certainly new.

What happens if I let the vulnerability feeling flow - can I somehow retrain myself to not fear that my unworthiness will be exposed?  That it is ok to open up, because if it isn’t a fit - then better for me to continue to the path of my true self than to hide myself and seek validation from someone who, ultimately, does not have the right to judge nor validate who I am.  Is there a way to have enough confidence that when my true self shows through (because isn’t that vulnerability - showing who you really are) - I am shining. Not offending.  My insecurities show I care, not that I am weak.

I’ll try very hard not to take the left turn and to stay straight. Because my Personal Legend (thank you The Alchemist), does not include being jaded or crippled by insecurity. My Personal Legend is living in the realm of love. Extending that to others. And contributing my part to make the world a more loving place.

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