Crazy in Context

I finally worked up the nerve to confront the Runner about telling the Good Doctor about my last bad relationship.  I asked that he please refrain from sharing my history & personal information, as that’s mine to share when I’m ready to. In response, The Runner told me that Good Doctor made an off-handed comment to the effect of “seems like she could be a little crazy” and The Runner felt the need to defend me explaining the last guy I dated sucked (i.e. I’m not wired to be crazy so if I give that impression it’s purely situational).

So...why would the Good Doctor make a comment about my possible craziness. It hurt to hear. My heart sank with by stomach dropping just as fast. I took a few minutes to process and then texted the Good Doctor that “as I was giving out to the Runner for sharing my personal info, he wanted to give context so he said you were concerned I might be a little crazy. If you have any concerns, you can ask me straight out.”

The Good Doctor replied via 4 messages, “Sorry. That was bad on my part. Please don’t take offense. It was asked in a completely general way. I have zero concerns.” “Ok, that sounded bad. I thought I asked in a way of, ‘I don’t really know this girl and you apparently do so is there anything I should know?’”  “So what I’m trying to say (badly) is that you have done absolutely nothing to make me think you are crazy, I would have asked that question about anybody. Please don’t take offense and if you’d like to talk about it call me when you can. Sorry”

I thanked him for his apology and sent a light-hearted text back. I thought maybe I was ok with it but when I woke up this morning, any excitement I had was gone.  I’ve had my guard so high up around him and was just starting to bring it down a little after 3 good dates but it is right back up.

So either he will think I’m the ice queen and give up or he will figure out a way to melt it.

I don’t know if I need to or how to let me know that I’m still hurt he would say something behind my back. Even if he thought it was probing (let’s face it, if I met a girl that knew him, I would ask “so is there anything I need to know about him?” - I just wouldn’t attach it to a negative comment) - so even if he thought it was probing, The Runner took it as a criticism of me and felt the need to defend me. Which tells me the question wasn’t ‘completely general’.  Or else...it was 2am and they were drunk guys at a bar...so the context and intent may have gotten lost somewhere in between.

We are supposed to have lunch today. And I wish I felt giddy and excited. But I just feel let down.