Monday, August 25, 2014

Tinder Date #10: The Good Doctor

I ran into someone I went to high school who recently moved to my area on Tinder. Though we didn’t know each other in school, upon realizing the connection, we quickly agreed to meet for a drink.  3 hours later I learned he got his PhD in chemistry, did some post-doc work at St. Andrews in Scotland and recently landed his first corporate job.  Though I went into the evening referring to it as a non-date (wasn’t clear on what the intentions were, or if there were any), in retrospect it was a date. It lasted 3 hours & was great conversation and good company. As we walked out, he asked to hang out again and shortly thereafter set another date for saturday night.  

It was a rainy day on saturday, not one where you want to be out and about - so he texted and offered to make dinner at this place and then we could go to a local bar to grab a drink.  Though I was nervous about going to someone’s house for a 2nd date (that sounds like a lot of pressure to me){, it seemed silly to turn down a PhD who was offering to make mussels and crab stuffed tilapia, so I accepted. After dinner we hung out and listened to music, swapped songs and told stories.  It was relaxing & comfortable….but not very flirty. I left around midnight because I thought it was kind of late & had a meeting for the Rwanda trip the next day.  Nice good night kiss at the door and I was off.

It turns out his neighbor invited him out for drinks after I left. In a lightning strike coincidence, he met his neighbor who was out with The Runner!  What are the odds? At 2am I got a text from The Runner informing me he was at a bar with the guy I went out with that night. Eeks. Now exactly my ideal combo.

The next day The Good Doctor texted and invited me to hang out for the afternoon. We got brunch and went fishing - I caught 4 fish!  He dutifully put the worms on and took the fish off - that’s a stand up guy :) I did tell him that I dated the Runner a couple of years ago but we were strictly friends now. He told me that The Runner told him about Chap and how mean he was. Why would The Runner tell the Good Doctor about the last bad relationship I had? I was steaming when I found out (still am) but tried to play it cool.  The Good Doctor took it all in stride.

At the end of the afternoon, we parted with another short kiss at the door and I headed home to await Grace’s arrival.

All in all it was 3 great dates. But I wasn’t very flirty - nor did he make a move. We talked about tons of things but I could feel my wall up so high that seems greater than the one in China. I wanted to flirt. Why didn’t I just reach out and rest my hand on his leg? I settled for sitting shoulder to shoulder on the couch and at one point he took my hand briefly.

The minute I start to examine what I am thinking or feeling I have been stopping it. I can sense a wall is there but I’m not ready to say it should be up or down. I want to be closer to him but I am not really reaching out. I don’t want to know why, I want to just enjoy the space I have to get to know him better. And with each passing conversation I grow a bit fonder and looking forward to the next.  I am sure that things will unfold the way they should as long as I don’t push myself to think or feel anything that isn’t there - just flow with it.

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